At the core of a woman’s heart she desires to be pursued. Being pursued is exciting, it makes us feel wanted and worthy... and it leads to intimacy, where our walls are let down and we get to truly know our spouse.

I love it when my husband randomly wraps his strong arms around me and asks me how my day was. My soul jumps with delight when my husband kisses me, and I can’t help but blush when my eyes lock with his in a room full of people and then he winks. Being pursued not only leaves me feeling cherished, but it is necessary for a healthy marriage.

Unfortunately, the perceptions I believed about marriage from early on in life included tons of expectations for my husband to be a lover who pursues, but I never formulated any standards to which I should pursue my husband! I guess I never really thought about it! But the truth is that he has needs too! My husband wants to know he is desired, he wants to be respected loved, and pursued as well. I am learning that I need to pursue my husband intimately to preserve our love story! So this how I will do just that:

3 Significant Ways To Pursue My Husband

1. Initiate Intimacy

I cannot expect my husband to be the only one to initiate intimacy, whether that is a special time of communication, physical touch or prayer. I need to seek time to spend with my husband and let him know that it is important to me that we connect. I need to initiate!

2. Intentionally Affirm Him

My husband’s first love language is affirmation. He craves it, he appreciates it, he thrives from it. Knowing this should excite me to compliment him or let him know what he means to me, but sometimes I neglect to feed his heart this way. I need to commit to affirming and encouraging my husband with my words!

3. Spontaneously Serve Him

I have a problem where I feel like life should be fair, especially in marriage. If I have to clean up my messes, I expect my husband to do the same. I am constantly rationalizing my motives based on the assumptions of fairness. It needs to stop. God created me to help my husband and God has asked me to serve others, including my husband. I need to be diligent in putting my husband’s needs above my own, helping him and serving him spontaneously without hesitation or rationalizing what is deemed fair!

My husband is worth my love and devotion. I should be pursuing him just as much as I desire him to pursue me. Being intentional in investing in our marriage selflessly in this way will cultivate a healthy relationship between us...which is important for our sake and our child’s. Our son will be watching how we pursue each other. All that he witnesses will contribute to shaping his perceptions of marriage and I want him to have a healthy view of what that should be!

What about you? Do you struggle to pursue your husband or do you have any good tips for other women in this area of life?

- Jennifer Smith, UnveiledWife.com