I'm not a yeller or a screamer as a Mom, thankfully it's not been an issue so far. But, I do struggle with a problem when I'm really stressed or upset. An issue that's quite opposite of raising my voice.
The stress doesn't exactly have to relate to the kids, or with feeling overwhelmed by their needs. Sometimes my children are actually behaving, getting along, and generally not causing a fuss. There are moments of peace in our home - imagine that!
But if this Mama is wrestling through an issue, feeling overly anxious inside (such as when my husband lost his job), or needing space to think or processโฆ
โฆI prefer to have my surroundings ultra quiet and super still.
Okay, that's putting it a bit lightly. I sometimes want all children to play the 'be seen and not heard' card, to make myself a cup of tea, and to then simply retreat from all my mothering, homemaking, housekeeping responsibilities of the day!
Somehow, the fact that I'm homeschooling four children, need to provide the family with meals, and wash our laundry doesn't compute in those moments. This self-focused vision grows overly large, and I serve my needs alone before my children or my home.
You see, for some moms, our struggle may not come out in loud, angry words or unintentional yelling across the room. Maybe you're more like me, and find that the peace and quiet you really do require in order to feel refreshed, becomes an itty-bitty idol demonstrated by a self-serving attitude.
Until it's no longer itty-bitty, right?
First, allow me to encourage you to carve out the slice of serenity you need in your days - for processing, for prayer, for focus. It's trueโฆthe quiet and silence does refresh you, so take it where possible. Make it priority.
Where the supernatural help of God's Spirit needs to flow is often the same place I find myself -- you'll eventually need to release the quiet, and engage in the busy, rumbly-tumbly loudness of childhood and motherhood.
To fully give yourself over to loving your children, training them, and making memories with themโฆeven while you're thinking things through and feeling strained.
It's hard to adopt this attitude when stressed -- I know. That's why we need God's help.
But, we didn't take on mothering or staying home with our children so they can primarily 'play quietly in their rooms', did we? No, not at all.
TODAY - seek God's assistance, ask for His presence to sustain youin the noise, just as He does in the quiet. He's already availableโฆjust ask.
Grace.
Blessings, Daniele Evans {photo credit}
P.S. Check out From Grouchy to Great: Finding Joy in the Journey of Motherhood. It's a daily devotional with discussion questions to encourage you as a mom. Grab a journal and study through it by yourself, or gather some girlfriends and study together!
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