The letter said, He’s tall, dark, and, believe me, handsome.

Yes, I was intrigued.

What single twenty-six year old (who had been a bridesmaid in no less than 12 weddings) wouldn’t be?

The beginning stages of despair that I would ever meet “the man of my dreams” had begun to set in long before this letter arrived.

As I had had well over a decade to develop this dream man, my list for him was really quite impressive.

Impossible, some said.

Yet, when he walked inside to join us for the dinner party, I knew immediately there he is. Just like I had always imagined it. There is the man I am going to marry.

The picture is as fresh today as that momentous night. He stood in the doorway: dark wavy hair, blue eyes, tall and strong, wearing black Levi’s and cowboy boots. He strode purposefully across the room and introduced himself to me.

Here he comes. Just like in my dreams, my heart pounded.

I went home and called a close friend to say that I had finally met the man I was going to marry.

After a completely inexcusable eternity of three days, Mr. Right came to the same conclusion: We would marry.

A few short months later we were happily married.

So dreams really do come true.

The one hitch in the dream?

Like many starry-eyed single women, I had spent a great deal of time dreaming of what kind of husband and father I wanted him to be – things he would have to do and be to “measure up” to my standards.

Somewhere in all that focus on what he needed to be, very little time had been devoted to the consideration of what kind of wife, what kind of woman, what kind of mother, Mr. Right would want me to be.

Looking back on it, it does seem strange but, at the time, all of that was taken for granted . . . it would all fall into place when the time came, right?

Yet when I woke up one day suddenly faced with the realization that I was a wife and, what’s more, a whirlwind year later a mother, the shock was overwhelming. It all didn’t “fall into place” - but falling apart was a distinct possibility.

Suddenly woken up, the raw reality presented itself: I was utterly unprepared to be either a wife or mother.

Going in, the world had constantly affirmed the competence acquired by living abroad, graduate degrees, the professional workplace, etc. What wasn’t apparent was that these things were not much help for the high calling of being wife and mother.

Because nothing, nothing, had prepared me for the journey which now lay before me.

So do you ever feel unprepared for the role you now find yourself in? That you're in a bit over your head? And then that realization that this thing called motherhood . . . it really matters.

Yeah, me too.

But now that I've been a mom for twenty years? To 8 children? I see it comes down to these essentials.

3 Essentials Every Mom Needs to Know:

1. If God has called you, He will equip you. Go to His Word for training and instruction. (2 Tim. 3:16-17)

2. If you ask for wisdom, He will give it. He who "gives generously to all without approach" will provide everything you need. (James 1:5)

3. If you mess up or make a mistake today, you can always start new tomorrow. We serve the God who specializes in new beginnings - for which I am oh! so thankul. (Isa. 43:18-19)

You can do this. God has called you and He will equip you with all the wisdom and grace you need to be a loving mother.

Cheering for you,

Lisa Jacobson, Club31Women

This post is a part of our “Who We Are” Series. For all posts visit,

“Who We Are: The Stories Behind TBM Writers”