How do you communicate online? Just because we can share all our thoughts and opinions in this space... Should we? Our motivation for why we communicate can lead us to sound like a clanging gong or be messengers of peace. Which will you be?

These past few weeks my Facebook feed has felt like theatre. Awash with a wild combination of varied opinion and commentary on several big issues that have made national news, I've never felt the desire to leave the online landscape more than I have recently. Friends and acquaintance acquaintances alike have bantered and argued and riled back at opposing opinions with fury, and I began to wonder: When did we all stop being kind?

I wonder if you've been asking that too? If you've seen the fire spewed in words across screens, our faces hidden from connection and accountability as we see and share 140 word blips that air our case, ready to critique or defend at the touch of the keypad? We live in a world where we have the means to literally shout from the rooftops every thought we have, every moment we have it. But should we?

My girls are paying attention to the news, to the conversations swirling and they've had big questions for me in recent weeks. With so many people saying things that are right, isn't that enough? Isn't that all that matters? No. While our words should always be truthful, I also want to teach my girls that there is a time and a place for them. That some conversations are best had behind closed doors, or around a table of trusted hearts where questions can be asked and answered slowly, intentionally.

I want them to know that when the hard conversations come, when disagreements abound (and oh, they will!), that the squeeze of a hand, the curve of a smile, a tear of understanding all count towards tying hearts together in conflict. I want them to know that when they say hard things and have hard conversations, it isn't just about getting their words out in the open for all to see or to sound off about their opinion, but about going through their words with someone they care about.

Our motivations to share determine the outcome of our conversations.

When you share today, are your words about drawing others into greater community and understanding, or simply about venting? Do they promote peace and unity or tear down and destroy? To they honor the person with whom you are speaking, even if you disagree?

Remember Proverbs 16:23: "The hearts of the wise make their mouths prudent, and their lips promote instruction"

Do yours?

If not, maybe this is a time to keep them shut.

Blessings to you today as we seek to pursue peace and wisdom together,

Kristen

This post is a part of The Better Mom Book Club. We'd love to have you join us as we read and discuss Karen Ehman's new book, Keep it Shut, through weekly posts sent straight to your inbox and on our private Facebook page. Click the image below for all the details!

Keep It Shut: What to Say, How to Say It, and When to Say Nothing at All

By Karen Ehman

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Kristen Kill

Kristen Kill is a woman transformed by the delight of God. She loves coffee, gingerbread, and staying up late with her nose in a good mystery. She believes there is something sacred in lighting candles, in setting a beautiful table and inviting others in. Most days she can be found attempting to learn how to cook, redecorating any given room instead of cleaning her house, and homeschooling her five hilarious children.

A contributing Editor at The Better Mom, and co-host of At Home with Sally and Friends, a popular podcast with Sally Clarkson, Kristen is passionate about encouraging women who feel stretched thin. She believes that tension is where we can learn to live expectant for the music and melody God is singing over of each one of us. She writes about home, creativity, and flourishing at her blog Hope With Feathers (kristenkill.com)

After spending the last seven years in the hustle of New York City, she and her husband, Josh, are learning to go slow as they raise their family and walk their anxious hound dog in the Pacific Northwest. Her first book, Finding Selah is due from Zondervan in 2018.

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