16 Ways to Offer Yourself Grace As a Mom
I don’t know about you, but I don’t need anyone to point out my flaws … because I’m a tough enough critic all by myself. It’s easy for me to see another mom and want to tell her, “It’s okay, you don’t have to be perfect. Don’t stress yourself out trying to be.” Yet I have a hard time speaking those words to myself. I always feel as if I can do better. Always.
For so many years I woke up every morning feeling insufficient, and I went to bed at night feeling as if I could do better. But that’s a horrible way to live. Then, the more time I spent reading God’s Word and sitting still in His presence the more I learned to give myself grace. After all, Jesus didn’t expect me to be perfect. And if I was perfect I wouldn’t need Him!
Instead, I learned to give myself grace … and here are 16 ways you can too.
1. Smile at your reflection. No, really do it.
2. Remind yourself you’re human and you will make mistakes.
3. When you mess up, forgive yourself, pray, and ask God to help you and change you.
4. Remember that God gave you kids for a reason. Trust He knew what He was doing, and He believes in you.
5. Ignore the feelings that you aren’t good enough. Remember that Jesus came because you aren’t.
6. Remind yourself that no one has a perfect house, a perfect body, or a perfect life. No one.
7. Sit still before God, and ask Him to show you how He sees you. Bask in that.
8. Know that you’re doing the best you can with what you know at this time.
9. Pray daily for God’s guidance.
10. Give yourself grace just like you’d give it to another mom.
11. Show yourself kindness, even after you’ve messed up.
12. Relinquish the past to God’s hands. Release the burden of carrying the mistakes yourself.
13. Know you are loved by God and worthy even if the laundry is piled up and dust cakes your house.
14. Believe that God has given you enough minutes in the day to follow His will and ditch the mile-long to-do list.
15. Remember that when you show yourself grace you are setting a wonderful example for your kids.
16. Believe these words, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me,” (2 Corinthians 12:9).
Wow, do you feel better reading through that list? Do you feel the burden lift? I do!
It’ll take more than just reading a list like this to change your heart, mind and attitude though. Consider writing out this list or printing it up. Use it as a reminder that you don’t have to be perfect. Instead, you can offer yourself grace, just as Jesus has offered it to you!
Walking in Him,
Tricia Goyer
P.S. We're growing in grace together all month as we celebrate the release of The Better Mom book. Find out more here.
At the heart of The Better Mom is the message that Jesus calls us to live not a weary life, but a worthy life. We don’t have to settle for either being apathetic or struggling to be perfect. Both visions of motherhood go too far. Ruth offers a better option. She says, “It’s okay to come as we are, but what we’re called to do and be is far too important to stay there! The way to becoming a better mom starts not with what we are doing, but with who God is inviting us to become."
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