3 Ways to Let Go of Control (and Watch Your Kids Flourish!)

Lately, my heart has been hurting for what the world keeps telling us is good and right. Society wants us to think if we do what makes us happy, it doesn’t really matter what is right and wrong – or good and pleasing to God. 

I would be lying if this doesn’t scare me for my children. Raising kids in this upside-down world right now is more than just a little challenging. I find myself trying even harder to control everything my kids see, hear, and say. I want so much for them. I want them to be light in this hurting world. I want them to love Jesus and put other’s needs in front of their own. I want them to be the change. 

So I make more rules, talk more openly about what this real world is like, and I pray fiercely and often. And I feel like I have everything under control. But reality soon sets in as we embark upon the teenage years.

And suddenly God makes you face your control issues head on. And the burning question is, how do we find the fine line where we let go of some of the control we think we have and turn it over to God? This answer is different for every one of us on this mothering journey. 

Here are a few ways that I have learned to let go of my control and let Jesus take over.

1)      Allow our kids to fail.

Say what? I know, I know. Just hear me out. This is SO HARD for me. But I have watched my kids grow through their failures. As a mom, it hurts to watch our children struggle. It goes against everything in our being to watch them flounder. But Jesus gave us free will to make our own choices. And guess what? We often make the wrong ones. But the silver lining? He grows us through our failures. And he PROMISES to do that.

Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

2)      Show them what forgiveness looks like.

Our kids aren’t perfect.   They’re not always going to make the best decisions. At the end of the day, we can implement every rule we can to protect them, but they still have the free will to break those rules. Sin doesn’t come without consequences of course. And as parents we have to discipline when these things happen. But we also must show our kids what forgiveness looks like.

We must reflect Jesus to our children and let them know that there is absolutely no sin that can separate them from our love, just as we cannot be separated from God’s love.

3)      Stop the comparison game.

Let’s just be honest. We all do this. And if you haven’t ever compared your kids to someone else’s, then don’t tell me. I love my kids fiercely, but I would be lying if I said I never asked myself why they couldn’t be a little more respectful in certain situations. Or why can’t school just come a little easier like the kid next door? But then I’m reminded how special we each are to God.

We can stop trying to control who we want our children to be and start trusting that God has a plan for their lives.

Friends, I’m still a work in progress just like each of you in this parenting game. But I can tell you this…I have seen my kids grow. And watching their walk with Christ grow as a result has been a blessing.

Keep Pressing On!

Nikki