For the Mom Who Can't Enjoy Every Moment

“They grow up so fast. Enjoy every moment!”

Outwardly, I smile as another person gives me this same advice that I’ve heard a few dozen times over the past year.

Inwardly, I cringe.

I cringe because I think about the battle I lost at dinner the night before with my one-year-old daughter. I cringe because I think about how messy my house is since she won’t let me put her down. I cringe because my body and mind ache from tiredness since she hasn’t slept well for a few nights in a row.

I understand why it is such popular advice, though. Moms and dads long to be able to hold their grown babies in their arms again. To hold tiny, trusting hands. To hear the sound of a precious baby squeal as momma or daddy chase them. I get it. If it’s possible, I already miss “those days” and I’m still in them!

But when I hear this advice – although well-intentioned and lovingly offered – I immediately feel guilty.

Guilty for not enjoying every moment.

Guilty for knowing I am incapable of enjoying every moment.

But do we actually have to enjoy every single thing in order to appreciate the stage our children are in?

No, Momma. You do not have to enjoy every moment.

Instead, what if we are intentional about creating enjoyable moments. What if we are intentional about turning an otherwise mundane moment into something memorable?

I stumbled upon this realization after a nap with my daughter one afternoon. It had been a chaotic, stressful day. I had packed up by 7:30 that morning to leave for an overnight cattle sale. After the chaos of trying to pack with a one-year-old running around, then a long drive, followed by unpacking and some socializing, it was time for her first nap.

Ahh, naptime. Naps are precious. Not only do you get a precious sleeping baby, but you also get precious time! I always try to use these “nap-portunities” wisely. For me, this usually means getting housework done. But since we weren’t home, there was no to-do list. No cleaning. No laundry. No dishes. Instead, I nursed my daughter to sleep in my arms, laid back against the plush pillows, and napped with my baby.

A nap – such a simple thing. But during the craziness of the morning, I hadn’t once stopped to really pay attention to my daughter. To soak up her smiles. To be in awe of her toddling around the cattle pens. A simple nap rejuvenated me as a mother.

My daughter was still. I was still. I could appreciate it and enjoy it.

This was the moment I intentionally created so that I could enjoy a piece of my crazy day – and be better equipped to enjoy the rest of it.

Create the moment that you need, Momma. Don’t feel like a failure if you realize you’ve been on autopilot or you’ve been laser-focused on your to-do list, forgetting to enjoy your little one in the meantime. Simply be mindful of an opportunity to create a moment.

Belly laugh with them when something silly happens. Hold their hand as you walk to the mailbox. Let them help you wash dishes and watch them play with the soap suds.

One day, I’m sure I will give other new moms the same advice as I long for the days when my house was filled with the sounds of children.

But for now, while we are in the grit of it, just know that it’s ok to not enjoy every moment

Blessings,

Kelley Thigpen