When Teaching Your Kids About Sex Feels Overwhelming
I still remember the words yelled from the back of the van, “Dad, what is song of songs?”
On a Friday night, several years ago, we had loaded our kids up in the minivan to eat. We had about an hour drive so the kids had books and magazines to read. Our oldest daughter brought her Bible. We were feeling like pretty good parents with our daughter wanting to read her Bible and all. But then she asked the question we were hoping she wasn’t asking, “What is song of songs?”
Yes, we fumbled around trying to figure out how to explain it to her and finally just landed on the answer. “It is a love poem or song between a husband and a wife.”
Silence followed and then she responded, “Well, that’s awkward.”
Yes, it was.
That interaction with our daughter was a reminder of not only how much we would have to teach her in the years to come, but also how much even the Bible has to say about love and romance. Song of songs is a great celebration of the love between a husband and a wife. It is a beautiful, and at times graphic demonstration of God’s intention for marriage. It is just one of the places where God reminds us that sex is an incredible blessing. A gift from God to be enjoyed in covenant marriage.
Because it is so sacred, it is even more crucial that we teach our children about sex so they can see it for what it really is - holy.
Teaching our kids about sex can be scary and overwhelming. I now have a 17 year old, 15 year old, 12 year old and 10 year old and I still get a little nervous and sweaty just thinking about having to have “the talk”, or really I should say “the talks”.
There are so many questions that can plague our minds:
When should I first start talking about sex with my kids?
How much should I tell them?
Will they even understand what I am explaining?
Will this ruin them and their pure minds?
and the list goes on…..
Over the years I have found that using resources to guide me and our discussion is extremely helpful. It is a great way to open the conversation that you will inevitably come back to (or should come back to) time and time again.
But still, I know, it can all feel overwhelming.
Here are a few things I want you to remember when you feel like you are in over your head!
God chose you to be the mother your kids need. You are completely capable because He called you! He will give you everything you need to parent and love your children well.
You don’t have to be perfect because God is. Oh, the pressure we put on ourselves to get it all right is intense. The good news is that we don’t have to get it all right. We do the best we can as we live rooted in His Word, walking by the Spirit and trusting God to fill in the gaps to overflowing.
God loves your child even more than you do. I know it seems hard to believe, but we serve a God who gave His life because He loved us so much. He loves your child that much too. We can trust Him. It is only by God’s grace that our children turn out at all.
I feel like I have to remind myself of those three truths constantly and I pray they will be something that encourages and spurs you on as well.
Now, if you are looking for practical help in this area or just wondering where to even begin I do want to introduce you to a series that does a fabulous job of guiding you step by step. The God’s Design for Sex series has sold millions of copies for a reason. It is a thorough four book series starting at age three all the way through age sixteen.
Book One: The Story of Me: Babies, Bodies, and a Very Good God (ages 3-5)
Book Two: Before I was Born: God Knew My Name (ages 5-8)
Book Three: What’s the Big Deal? Why God Cares About Sex (ages 8-12)
Book Four: Facing the Facts: The Truth about Sex & You (ages 12-16)
My favorite thing about this series is that it is broken into the different ages of your children and it gives direction on what to communicate at those different ages. It also has an incredible parents’ guide that is a comprehensive tool full of information to help you through the different stages of your child’s life and their developing bodies (physically, emotionally, and spiritually).
Here is a brief description about the series:
The God’s Design for Sex Series helps parents establish a biblical view of sexuality in the home. The parents’ guide, and four age-appropriate books, enable families to develop healthy dialogue about sexuality. They provide children the foundation of truth and knowledge they need for when they are inevitably bombarded with confusing and potentially harmful messages about sex.
If you are wanting to have biblical and healthy conversations with your children about sex, I highly recommend The God’s Design for Sex Series! To check out When & How to Tell Your Child About Sex (parents’ guide) you can click HERE. (all links to each book individually are listed above)
XO,
Ruth
Disclosure: This is a sponsored post in partnership with NavPress Publishers. I was given the resources in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.
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