I used to think that motherhood meant a life of constant companionship; loneliness could not thrive in a space where busyness lived. But, it’s in the midst of busyness we experience some of our loneliest moments.

If you’ve ever stood in your kitchen, surrounded by the energy and activity of children and still felt lonely, you know you’re a mom.

It’s hard to imagine being lonely in a house full of people. Especially when those tiny people need every ounce of your time and attention. It’s not unusual to experience a quiet solitude in the midst of motherhood.

Loneliness isn’t about being physically alone. I have felt the most alone when my own needs fall low on a long list of priorities I've created for my family. And the list grows, right? We say we’ll catch up on sleep tomorrow. Next month we'll have coffee with a friend or join that Bible study at church in the fall when we’re assured life will be slower.

We are experts at putting the needs of everyone around us first while we take scraps of spare time for ourselves. We even guilt ourselves into creating more work to fill those rare quiet moments free of appointments or chores.

I often read articles that moms need to RECLAIM OUR TIME! and PUT OURSELVES FIRST! It’s a nice thought, but I don’t know any mom jumping on the “me first” bandwagon. But consider this: how would your life change if you treated yourself as an equally valued member of the family? What would it look like to give yourself the same care and attention you give to your children and spouse?

Moms, we’re lonely because we forget we are a worthy, precious member of the very family we work so hard to nurture.

While I absolutely believe that motherhood is sacrificial, (God, Himself, is the perfect example of a sacrificial parent) I also believe we can take the posture of sacrifice too far. When we spend all of our time in the car chauffeuring kids and each block of the calendar is filled with activities and appointments, play dates and practices, there’s a good chance we’re emptying ourselves.

We aren’t meant to live this life without gaining a richer, deeper understanding of who God is and His desire for our lives. Yes, motherhood is a beautiful part of that plan! But we also have gifts and talents we too easily allow to collect dust on a shelf. When loneliness creeps in, it means we’re disconnected. That everyone and everything is taking precedence over our needs.

If you’re anything like me, what I need most in those moments is time with the Lord. I need to soak in His Word. I need quiet time to refocus my thoughts and pray for myself and my family. I need to be creative by writing and encouraging others.

Giving the best of who we are is a natural part of motherhood. It’s why our homes are filled with content and sleepy children at the end of a long day. Tomorrow, I hope you will extend that same time and care to yourself. You are more than worth it.

Blessings,

April Cao