5 Ways to Refocus this Fall

I’m a recovering perfectionist. Though I try to stifle the impulse, sometimes, it’s hard. I want a neat home, an organized calendar, and a smooth life.

Unfortunately, my children have had front-row seats for every occasion when I temporarily lose my mind because someone left a stray banana peel in the living room.

It’s no wonder, then, that one of them leaned over recently and said conspiratorially, “Mom, if just you and I lived here, the house would be really clean all the time.”

As my most organized child, she’s not wrong. And she meant it in the sweetest of ways.

But when I heard her words, I wilted a little inside.

Sometimes I wonder if my desire for organized perfection can lead to being a little less loving, a little less willing to bend when others need it, a little more inclined to praise my kids when they do what I want rather than because of who they are.

And if that sounds familiar, maybe you—like me—are ready for a little fall tune-up. If things have gone off the proverbial rails with the summer slide, perhaps it’s time to fine-tune our heart. With that in mind, here are five ways to help refocus your fall:

1. Gratitude.

Did you know people who are grateful experience fewer aches and pains? They also report feeling healthier than other people, according to a 2012 study. Gratitude increases happiness, reduces depression, and enhances empathy. Even more, it turns us from a posture of inward focus to one where we stop to reconsider our blessings. When we focus on what’s good in our lives, our worries diminish.

“This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24 ESV)

“I will praise you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all the marvelous things you have done.” (Psalm 9:1 NLT)

2. Thanksgiving.

A friend once explained that while gratitude is a feeling, thanksgiving is an action. For instance, I can feel gratitude in my heart without ever speaking it aloud. But when I offer thanks to someone, those words are an action.

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18 ESV)

“Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.” (Colossians 2:7 NLT)

3. Pray.

Prayer forces us to look beyond ourselves and refocus our attention on God, asking what he would have us do.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” (Philippians 4:6)

“Pray without ceasing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:17)

4. Serve.

Whenever I focus too much on myself—my comfort, my preferences, my problems—I can easily grow discontented. The best way to combat that is to choose instead to focus on the needs of others. When we serve others as Christ did, we act as his hands and feet in the world, loving people and obeying his command to do so.

“As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace.” (1 Peter 4:10 ESV)

“For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” (Galatians 5:13-14)

5. Rest.

Sometimes realigning our hearts and lives with God’s will means recognizing that we need a break. Rest is a gift from a gracious God to his children.

“It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones.” (Psalm 127:2 NLT)

“‘Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.’” (Matthew 11:28-30 ESV)

Jesus doesn’t just want to be the savior who visits the curated parts of our heart and home, he wants to be Lord of all—every messy, beautiful, imperfect part of us. And when we take the time to seek Him through gratitude, thanksgiving, prayer, serving, and rest, we’ll find that the calm, peaceful presence of the Lord in our lives is better than our best-laid plans could ever be.

Looking for additional encouragement in connecting with God on a daily basis? Kristin’s newest book, One Good Word a Day: 365 Invitations to Encourage, Deepen, and Refine Your Faith, is releasing November 9, 2021.