Training Our Children to Handle Insults Well

We are so blessed to live in an area where there are no disagreements or divisions. We get along splendidly with everyone and there are no matters that divide us. One big, happy city.

Sounds like a bit of an alternate universe, doesn’t it? That is, of course, not true for our family or most families out there. I do not even get along with myself all the time! Sometimes I really want to exercise but I also… don’t. We argue. Someone wins. Someone loses. It is always me!

Over the last two years, we have seen a great polarization around the world; between countries, political parties, religious and social beliefs. And not just between them but from within them too. Can we just agree that not everyone agrees?!

So, how do we train our children to handle themselves well when insults start to fly?

“A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.” Proverbs 19:11

Wisdom helps us overlook an offense.

“Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.” Proverbs 16:32

Self-control is a great strength and fruit of the Spirit.

“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.” Matthew 5:11

Insults will happen. We need to be prepared.

“Like one who grabs a stray dog by the ears is someone who rushes into a quarrel not their own.” Proverbs 26:17

Choose our battles wisely, with great discernment.

“When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.” 1 Peter 2:23

Jesus did not retaliate.

These are a few of my favorites but there are so many more verses that address our response to insults and offenses. Knowing them is valuable but there is another crucial step in training our children up - leading by example.

How do they see us react to an insult?

What do they hear us say about someone who has hurt us?

What do they read on our social media feeds?

They will do as we do, regardless of what we say. More than anything they need to observe us performing emergency PPR on the regular:

Pause. Pray. Respond (if necessary).

As Christians, we will be insulted for our beliefs that go against the crowd. Our journey takes us upstream, struggling against the natural current. Retaliating will only wear us out. Focus on completing the race. Focus on the destination. Focus on Jesus.

And we just keep swimming, entrusting ourselves to the One who judges justly.

XO, Heidi