When the Enemy Tells You that You are Losing

“Of course this would happen on my birthday.”

Angry and exhausted, I checked the time on my phone – well after midnight, I was officially 31. I turned over in my bed, breathing deeply and trying to calm my racing heart. I was anxious again. Having struggled with anxiety for years I was well-accustomed to its effects – tossing and turning all night with no peaceful sleep in sight. But it had been months since anxiety had affected me this deeply.

I was angry, yes. So frustrated with myself for what seemed like a falling back into anxious patterns of thought – something I had spent two years in therapy learning how to recognize and replace with God’s truth. I knew that the enemy would still try to poke me in an area of vulnerability, but I had believed I was strong enough now to resist the bait. I gave others advice about how to deal with anxiety and here I was struggling with the same issue I thought I had conquered. I knew the Bible verses about anxiety – could even quote a few by heart.

So why? I wracked my brain for what I was “doing wrong.”

Friend, what are you struggling to be free of? What have you had victory over just to have it sneak back up on you? Anxiety? Anger? Envy and discontent? Lust? Gluttony? Overspending? When your problem resurfaces, are you left frustrated and discouraged?

A couple of weeks after my sleepless night, I was reading Stormie Omartian’s The Power of a Praying Woman, where her sage advice on how to be delivered from sin’s bondage filled me with hope:

“If you ever seem to be sliding back into the very thing you’ve already been set free of, don’t even waste time getting discouraged. Often what seems like the same old thing coming back again may be a new layer surfacing that needs to come off. You’re not going backward—you are going deeper. Those deep layers of bondage can hurt far worse than the earlier ones.” (174)

I read this over and over. Letting it sink in. I was not going backward simply because the anxiety resurfaced. It was a new layer. Something I needed to examine through the lens of God’s wisdom.

When your problem resurfaces, friend, don’t fall under the weight of discouragement. Fall to your knees and be willing to go deeper. Pray, “Father, where am I needing correction? What do I need to learn from this? Please show me anywhere that I have stepped outside of Your will for me.”

After reflecting on my latest anxious episode, I realized that I had been worked up over extremely sad news of a loved one. And as I laid down to sleep that night, knowing it was my birthday the next day – a day that should be full of joy and celebration – my heart was heavy. Life was unbearable for others at that moment, so how could I celebrate? More bad things were inevitable. This has been a deeply-rooted worry of mine, and I clearly needed to ask for God's help to trust Him completely.

So I’ll ask you again, friend – what has you discouraged? Where are you seeking victory but always seem to find yourself seeking help for the same problem? I want to encourage you, that just because you find yourself praying again for deliverance does not mean you are losing the battle! Rather, as children of God, we have already inherited freedom!

John 8:36 reminds us that

“if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”

Let that sink in. You. Are. Free. Free from bondage to sin. And since we are no longer in bondage, what can we take hold of? Jesus tells us that He came “that we may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10). Not only are you set free, but you have the capacity to live a life of joy and peace – and every fruit of the Spirit – to its fullest! You can face any new layers of bondage with the assurance that Jesus has already won the battle for you. Ask Him for wisdom to discern any changes you need to make, and then praise Him in faith for delivering you!

Then, live like you are free.
Because, friend, you are free. Free indeed.

Blessings,
Kelley Thigpen