How to Cultivate Your Family Culture

Do you want to change or refine your family culture? There is no magic formula to cultivating a family culture overnight but there are a few key factors that can help significantly.

I once joked that I can’t keep a plant alive but I have managed okay with my kids so I can’t be that bad. I’m someone who would love to have a green thumb. The idea of having a garden fascinates me but unfortunately, I have yet to be successful in that area. Gardens take care and patience and I tend to forget what I’m working for and end up with dried up zinnias before I ever see a bloom.

At first, it is exciting envisioning the beautiful blooms of your hard work and how you will enjoy the spoils of your labor. Then, the actual work begins. The task of tending to ensure everything is getting what it needs is tedious. If you stick with it through the dry seasons and rainy seasons and tend to it daily you, are able to sit back and enjoy the results of your effort. On the other hand, if you neglect what you’ve planted or never even take the seeds out of the packets you will see nothing more than dried up remnants of what could have been.

Cultivating a family culture isn’t too different from gardening. We all love the idea of having a family culture. We will buy the books and make the plan but, when it comes down to the tedious toiling, do we follow through, or are we like my hopeful zinnias?

How do we take the desire for a family culture to a reality of building and enjoying a family culture?

First, we must define “family culture.” Family culture is made up of the traditions, purposes, values, and beliefs of a family. 

In a Christ-centered home, that means that God’s Word is the foundation of your family culture. Reading and studying God’s Word is an important part of cultivating it. As parents, we cannot expect our children to grow in Christ if we are not growing ourselves. We have the blessing of setting the tone for how God’s Word is viewed and valued.

Second, how do we realistically cultivate a family culture? We must be intentional, we must be consistent, and we must be patient.

Intentional - We must incorporate the foundation of our family culture into our daily lives. God’s Word should be a daily discussion in our home. Reading scripture to our children, discussing moral and world issues through the lens of the Word, and instilling Biblical truth are impactful ways we can cultivate a family culture and build up our children to be loving truth seekers.

Consistent - There are days when we as moms are just done. Times when we don’t want to put the work in because we aren’t seeing the fruit. Moments when we are tired and just want to zone out rather than show up. We cannot give up on those days. We must push through and remember what it is we are working towards. Galatians 6:9 has become a verse that rings in my ears on the days the work feels hard and want to give up.

“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”

Patient - Family culture takes time. The hard work you put in will not pay off overnight. Just like I cannot plant seeds and expect to see blooms the next day or even the next week. We can’t expect our family culture to be cultivated in mere days, weeks, or even months. But one day, after consistent tending, we will see the blooms of change in our families.

One day, our children will make a connection between what you have been teaching them and the world around them. One day, our children will show kindness because you have instilled Christ’s love in their hearts. One day, your children will come to you to discuss a hard issue or concern because they know you are a place to seek prayer and wise counsel.

There is no magic formula to cultivating a family culture overnight. Building relationships take time and what you pour in will be poured out. Placing God as the foundation of your family culture and Christ at the center is the first step, a big step, but every little step of showing up and putting in the work after that matters.

Today, I pray for each of you reading this. I pray that you will seek God in cultivating your family culture and that you will lean on Him fully as you toil away in this good and holy work. I pray that you will not grow weary in doing good. I pray that you will not give up. I pray that you see the fruit of your labor in both small and big ways. I pray that you know that you are not in this alone, that you feel God’s presence and protection over this little garden you have planted.

Blessings,

Laura Dedmon