God Had a Friend, So Should We

I have a friend who sometimes doesn’t greet me on the phone. She will start right in with what she’s thinking as soon as I say hello. It’s one of her quirks, and it’s a welcome reminder to me of how far our friendship has come.

Initially, we were friends who exchanged pleasantries. But now, we can call each other on our worst days. Isn’t that the kind of friendship we all yearn for? A friend you can be yourself with – the good, the bad, AND the ugly.

While this kind of relationship is important for everyone, I think moms could agree that, for us, it’s just as essential as the noise machine in our babies’ rooms. And yet we don’t prioritize it. We are tired. Busy. Some days just our mental load is enough to make us want to lie down and throw a toddler-sized fit. So the idea of pouring into another relationship outside of your husband and children may seem impossible.

But here’s the thing - even God had a friend. Exodus 33:11 says, “The Lord would speak to Moses face to face, just as a man speaks with his friend….” My personal favorite is when God is speaking through Isaiah and says, “But you, Israel, my servant, Jacob, whom I have chosen, descendants of Abraham, my friend…” (Isaiah 41:8).

The God of the universe – the One who made the heavens and the earth – had a friend. Did he need a friend? Nope. Because God is trinitarian in nature, existing as the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit who complement each other perfectly. He chose Abraham as a friend because He is a relational God. He didn’t need any of us because He is complete within Himself, yet He made man because He wanted to share His amazing love with someone. And we were made in His image, which means we are relational beings, as well. God has hardwired us for relationships.

So much of what we are commanded to do in the Bible is relational! A dear friend provides you the opportunity to rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep (Romans 12:15). To comfort others with the comfort you have received from God (2 Corinthians 1:4). How can we comfort others or rejoice with them if we don’t really know what is going on in their heads and hearts?

Friendship is also refining. We can ask our dear friends to reveal (in love) our blindspots: where am I missing the mark as a friend, Christian, or mom? “The wounds of a friend are trustworthy…as iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend,” (Proverbs 27:6,17).

So how did this dear friend of mine pursue a friendship with me? How did we become close enough to share even our worst days? It was simple: she called. She called to check in with me. She called when she had a question. She called to share something funny that happened to her. Just snippets of life shared in sometimes short, sometimes long conversations as we went about our day. After some time, she was calling on her worst days, and I felt comfortable doing the same.

Let me clarify something: there is absolutely a need for an in-person fellowship. But when it’s 4:32 and you just stubbed your toe, the kids are fighting, and making dinner seems like having to sprint at the end of a marathon, you have a choice. Go at it alone, or phone a friend. Not to complain and grumble, which we are not called to do, but to tell them what is going on, to ask for prayer and to help you identify any blindspots, or to identify any lies the enemy is speaking to your heart. Our attitudes can shift so much simply by a perspective change or a reminder of Truth, and a dear friend can help us make that shift. As Proverbs 27:9 says, “The sweetness of a friend is better than self-counsel.”

So, find a friend you have a lot in common with, and be intentional about staying connected. Here's to all the life-giving, perspective-shifting, friendship-deepening conversations to come!

Blessings,

Kelley Thigpen