Getting Ready for Those Teenage Years

As a mom of quite a few girls (5 to be exact), I used to always hear, “Just wait until they are teens!” Which I think meant, your girls may be sweet now, but teenage girls aren’t always so sweet. And in one sense it’s true, teenage girls aren’t always peachy (nor are teens in general, for that matter).

No doubt, the teenage years come with their challenges.

But no mom should wait until the teen years to think about the teen years.  As we raise and train our children we must be fully aware that what we do now will affect the future. For example, if left unchecked, their child-like flaws may become exacerbated teen flaws. Their childhood weaknesses may become their teenage nemesis.  Obviously, what we let slide today, could become larger problems later.

But our pre-teens are not the only ones that may have issues to work out before the teen years hit. Sometimes it’s us parents that need to get more ready.

Are You Ready for the Teen Years?

Do your pre-teens ever press your buttons? Do they ever test your patience? Do you ever respond with a little less godliness than you care to admit? In all likelihood, you are like the rest of us and you can say “yes” to every one of those questions. Our pre-teens, especially our first one, take us into a whole new parenting territory—and the terrain can be rugged.

But what we need to realize is, it’s probably not going to get easier from here. Yes, the challenges will change, but they usually get bigger, not smaller. Your kid becomes larger, they become louder, more hormonal, more autonomous, and everything they do has bigger repercussions. Many of their issues are exacerbated!

So think of it this way: It’s not just your child’s unchecked weaknesses that can cause future problems. It’s yours. Your current unchecked weaknesses have the potential to become exacerbated flaws when your teen starts pressing your buttons on a whole new level. The sin you let slide into your heart (i.e. worry, impatience, irritability, etc) will be fully present and ready to take over when teen-sized problems enter your home. Bottom line: If we can’t handle our pre-teens with godliness, what makes us think we will handle our teens with godliness?

Prepare Now!

The good news is, God wants us to be holy! He wants us to be godly parents to both our teens and our pre-teens. And like so many things in life, God is so gracious in how he gently prepares us and helps us work out the sin in our life little by little. Do you remember how you were ready (as ready as you can be) for the sleepless nights of your newborn because you slept so horribly during pregnancy? It’s a little like that. We have some challenges before us with our pre-teens that gently prepare us for the potentially harder teen years. We need to make sure we seize each opportunity we’re given to grow in godliness.

Basically, we should see the child-sized issues we deal with as a type of trial. And the Bible says when we work through our trials we grow our character  — which means we will be more ready to handle the harder things coming our way. James 1:2-4 says,

 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

That is certainly the kind of parents we want to be — tested and tried, coming out steadfast. Eventually having a character that lacks nothing! No doubt that is the kind of holiness that will allow us to conquer all types of future parenting trials with grace and godliness.

So all that to say: If you have a pre-teen, seize every opportunity you can to grow through the challenges they throw your way. Each one is an opportunity to become more of who God wants you to be, and more ready for the parenting trials that may come your way.

Let's get ourselves ready for those teen years now!

-Heather Pace