When You Want to Change But You Don't Know How

The words flew out of my mouth like lightning piercing the night sky. With muscles tightly wound, I found myself grappling with an ever-so-familiar weakness. These words of mine, loud and unsteady, wounding those I love. My body felt heavy, aching from sin's curse—the weight of my actions resounded in my mind.

How long must I struggle?

HOW LONG must I struggle with my unyielding weakness?

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” (Romans 7:15, NIV)

The struggle is real, and for me, it's my words spoken in anger.

I'm grasping for change, and it's elusive, often seeming unobtainable. I pray. I post Scripture verses on my mirrors, and yet, my fleshly tendencies sway me elsewhere. It's a constant battle.

Can you relate?

We are all plagued by sin, with some areas darker and stronger than we'd like to admit. Life is messy, and we are wrestling with areas of weakness the enemy would love to have control over. If we were just like everybody else in the world, we'd patch up our messes and call it good. We'd strive to put ourselves together in a nice package, appealing on the outside but rotten within.

But you know what?

We're not just like everybody else in the world. God saved us from a life of despair. He redeemed us from a life of sin so that we can have life to the fullest (John 10:10). And we all yearn for him and hope for change because we recognize the true filth we are. 

Change is never easy, though. Unlike the world, God wants to do more than just patch up our messes. He wants to change the deepest parts of our beings. The kind of areas we live with for years and somehow convince ourselves they are a part of who we are. God calls us out of these unmanageable depths. He speaks the truth where there are lies. He urges us to wrestle with these strongholds in prayer and promises a way out (1 Corinthians 10:13).

Maybe today, you are struggling with a decade-old weakness. You pray and try, but you find yourself on your knees, bowed down before our gracious King in repentance—again.

Can I just say?

You are not alone.

Keep pressing on. One day you will no longer have to fight these all-consuming battles. But in the meantime, be encouraged by these three truths:

1)    Our battle is not against flesh.

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Ephesians 6:12, NIV

2)    We can have victory over sin. 

“For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin—because anyone who has died has been freed from sin.”  Romans 6:6-7, NIV

3)    Change takes time.

“being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6, NIV

And remember, God will sanctify us the more we draw near to him. It's a daily choice—choosing to wrestle with these weaknesses instead of patching up pieces and believing these ever-so-familiar weaknesses will one day become a testimony of God's great deliverance.

Blessings,

Sandra Bretschneider

Sandra Bretschneider is a wife, mother of three, speech-language pathologist, and writer with a passion for helping other women to dive deeper into God’s Word. She is the author of Knowing the Shepherd: A Names of God Bible Study for Moms. Connect with Sandra on Instagram @sandra.bretschneider