To the mama who didn’t get to brush her hair this morning...

I get it. The pull on your heart to give everyone and everything your attention.

The more you give in one area of your life, the more you have to pull back in another. Why does there have to be a set number of hours given in a day? We need more!

A few weeks ago I went to a bridal shower with an 80’s theme, so the room filled with a disturbing amount of blue eyeshadow, leg warmers, and side pony tails.

But the room also filled with a lot of women who had been married a long time. After we ate refreshments, we went around the room and gave the bride a piece of advice about marriage. The depth of wisdom in that room was as shocking as the host’s neon 80’s work-out costume.

So much hard-earned wisdom came from every woman, and we didn’t even know we would be asked to give it. All this goodness was off-the-cuff.

If a perfect stranger asked your children to describe you, what would they say?

Might they share as my son did when he was in preschool, “Well, my mom vacuums a lot. And she gives great hugs.” Or would they have his twin’s perspective: “She works on the computer, takes me on errands with her, and doesn’t like to be interrupted.” Ahem. True, but not quite as endearing.  

If you asked my teen daughters to describe me now compared to when they were little, you’d get quite a different perspective. They might say something like, “She used to yell A LOT and would get angry over the littlest thing. Thankfully, she’s not like that anymore, and is way more fun to be with, when she’s not under stress from work.” 

12 Ways to Stop Holiday Misbehaving Before It Starts

When the Christmas season comes around we can count on a few things: 1) lots of fun family time, and 2) lots of fun family time disrupted by kids' bad behavior. Kids often misbehave A LOT during the holidays. Their schedules are messed up; they're over-excited and over-stimulated. (Don't even get me started on all the extra SUGAR.) If you'd like to stop holiday misbehaving before it starts, here are 12 ways to do that:

It’s tempting to tether our identity to the choices our children make. Whether those choices be stellar ….. or stupid.

When my son goes out of his way to welcome a boy who was hesitant to attend youth group, and the mom of the boy graciously texts me to let me know what my son did, it’s easy for me to proudly think, “Nice work, Jeannie. You’ve taught your son about being thoughtful and kind, so clearly you’re a good mom.”

And when my son goes out of his way to hide the third round of soda and candy he bought at the fair, it’s easy for me to sarcastically think, “Nice work, Jeannie. You’ve taught your son about the importance of honesty and listening to the “Holy Spirit nudge” in their hearts, but you’ve apparently failed at raising boys who exhibit integrity so clearly you’re a bad mom.”

This is a daily surrender.  Not tethering WHO I AM to WHAT THEY CHOOSE.

Maybe you too have been tempted to believe that your child’s bad choices makes you a “bad” mom? Or your child’s good choices makes you a “good” mom.

Well, this is just ONE of the TEN myths my friends, Ruth Schwenk and Karen Ehman, address in their new book, Hoodwinked.

 

They write, “Moms have been hoodwinked—tricked into believing lies that keep them from not only enjoying motherhood, but forging friendships with other moms who might tackle the tasks of motherhood differently.”

So they’ve written a book that will help moms:

Identify the ten myths of motherhood our current culture perpetuates
Replace the lies with the truth of what God says in the Bible about mothering
Acquire practical tools to help them form new and improved thought patterns and healthy behaviors
Forge healthy, supportive relationships with other moms of all ages and stages
Confidently embrace the calling of motherhood as they care for their families in their own unique way

Who doesn’t want that?

As I was privileged to write in my endorsement of this book, “Hoodwinked is for every mother who has ever questioned her parenting ability. Ruth and Karen have teamed up to equip women to silence the destructive motherhood myths with the freeing truth of God’s Word.”

 

Lean in, friends, and be encouraged.

You are not the sum of your child’s choices.

(You know what I’m going to say next, don’t you? It’s my favorite thing to remind you -and me- of, after all………..)

Your identity is firmly anchored in the perfect work and record of Jesus Christ on your behalf.

Do you have a significant influence on the choices your children make? Absolutely!  Should you seek to lead them in making good choices and equip them with skills for Godly living? Heck yes.

You are important. Massively important. And it is a good and right thing to be proud of the stellar choices your kids make. And to be on your knees in prayer over the stupid choices your kids make.

BUT, you’re identity is not tethered to those choices.

Your identity is in being a completely known, fully accepted, and unconditionally loved daughter of the King.

So walk in freedom. Parent with grace. And pick up a copy of Hoodwinked to silence the ten myths that are trying to steal the joy from your parenting journey.

Much love,

jeannie