The other night I heard the most practical, grace-filled lecture on Titus 2:3-5 I have ever heard. The speaker, Jaylynn Cook (a local pastor’s wife), shared a biblical perspective on mentoring. Among the guidelines, bible verses, and bullet points, she emphasized one thing over and over,

Give them grace.

When you’re mentoring other women, give them grace. When you’re discipling a new believer, give them grace. When you’re disciplining your children, give them grace.

Make sure you don’t add to what’s not written in the Word. Give them grace.

Often we adopt practices, beliefs, and convictions that are more rabbit trails from the Word of God, than truths found in the Book of Life. Do you ever find yourself there? How many convictions do you have that aren’t Bible-based?

Yes, we want to be better...to pursue holiness, but sometimes we mistake “better” for holy and we exchange the freedom of Christ for legalism.

Maybe you feel your kitchen has to look a certain way to be a godly woman, clean sink, clutter-free counters, a week of meals planned and ready in the pantry.

Or your children have to behave just so...all the time or you’re a failure as a parent.

Is it getting dressed? Every day, without fail.

Perhaps it’s having an always picked up, organized house? Sharing the gospel so many times in a year? Decorating for every season?

Homeschooling, not homeschooling, public or private school? To work outside the home or from home? Maybe it’s taking a meal to a new neighbor.

There’s nothing wrong with these, but often we hinge our goodness--our rightness before God--on what we do. And we extend that measure of rightness to the lives of others.

We put markers on their chart of sanctification and hold the carrot just a little bit higher and whisper, “If you just do this, you’ll be holier, more godly, better...”

We take the Word of God and set a standard that was never meant to be. We say grace, but preach works.

If we want to make a change in the world, in our relationships, and our family then we must say grace and live it.

Don’t set a standard God never laid down. Be open. Share your mistakes and failings. Let people see your messy house. You don’t need to pretend your kids are always obedient. It’s okay to let your exasperation show, to say, “I can’t do it all” and that you’re tired.

It doesn’t mean you’re weak or less godly...it means you need grace.

It means the sufficiency doesn’t come from you (2 Cor. 12:9).

In seeking to live a holy life, practicing self-control, teaching what is good, and managing our homes, let us not forget the most important thing