Remembering back...

He said--
"Don't you kinda think this was our worst day ever?"

I inwardly nodded.
To our boy I just said,
"I'm sorry."

And he said,
"Me too. Maybe we can have a do-over?"

It started from the moment they got up.
I was tired.
They were tired.
It was raining and we all needed naps looooong before nap time.

Someone accidentally kicked someone else in the eye getting out of the bunk bed.
Someone was slow to pass the napkin pile at breakfast.
Someone loaded the dirty dishes before emptying the clean, dropping goopy globs of thickened oatmeal all over the clean silverware.

Someone got into the lotion in the bathroom and moisturized her doll's skin and the carpet.
Someone washed the iPad in the sink.
Someone put her pull-ups in the laundry pile which meant they were added to the wash and the result was yellow-smelly-smooshy-pull-ups-crystals all throughout the clean laundry.

Someone smashed someone else's finger in the door jam.
Someone smashed someone else's Claymation movie figure that was needed for a sequel.
Someone smashed a blueberry into the carpet while they were doing their vacuuming chores.

Someone didn't read her Bible before checking email.
Someone stayed up too late watching t.v. the night before.
Someone was unorganized when it came to school-day-activities.

And there was a whole lot of grouchy and complaining and angry floating around.
And not a whole lot of patience.
And when I heard myself ranting-yelling--
"You all need to just stop being so unkind with your words!"

All I wanted was a rewind.
Or better yet, a clean slate.
Something to stop the momentum of the big, bad, ugly
Sin.

It had been a long while since I'd seen that many rats in my cellar.

Surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of man he is? Surely what pops out before the man has time to put on a disguise is the truth? If there are rats in the cellar you are most likely to see them if you go in very suddenly. But the suddenness does not create the rats: it only prevents them from hiding. In the same way the suddenness of the provocation does not make me an ill-tempered man; it only shows me what an ill-tempered man I am. ~ C.S. Lewis

But this stopped me short.
This tiny hand outgrowing its former imprint.

A reminder of the brevity of life.
Five hand prints.
Four still printable.
One holding Jesus' hand in Heaven.
It made me pause.
And give thanks for these little gifts-from-Him.

And as I write this, one keeps repeating...
"That's perfect"
(and then she rings a bell).
"That's perfect"
(and then she rings a bell).

But I'm not.
And neither are they.
But He is.
And so I'll ask for their forgiveness and I'll say it again...

I don't want to be a wife and mama who tears down my house with my own hands (Proverbs 14:1).

So I will...

Praise God who gives grace and forgiveness.
Praise God who redeems my failures.
Praise God who changes hearts and heals hurts.
Praise God... who sees the rats in my cellar and still doesn't give up on me.

And tomorrow I'll cling closer--
To the only one who can make the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, pleasing and acceptable in His sight (Psalm 19:14).

Because He truly is my Rock.
And the Redeemer of this "worst day ever".

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
His mercies never come to an end;
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness
~Lamentations 3:22 -23