What Google Can't Teach New Mommas

Join me in welcoming one of our newest contributors, Kelley Thigpen, to The Better Mom. She has some special encouragement for her fellow new moms today. - XO, Ruth

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I open yet another internet tab. I type the question plaguing my thoughts… “What does it mean if my baby’s poop is green.” This is what plagued me. Welcome to motherhood!

As a new momma of a precious baby girl, I’ve been searching—well, Googling to be exact. I have Googled more in the past two months than I have my entire life. My husband half-jokingly tells people that he nearly blocked Google from my phone after the first month with our newborn.

I’m sure many new mommas can relate to this endless quest for answers. However, I also experienced an emotional “searching” which caught me by surprise. Even the greatest search engine couldn’t provide the answer I needed.

I found myself unprepared for the personal growth motherhood demanded in such a short period of time.

Meeting the needs of a newborn revealed the selfish mindset I had developed. My flesh demanded sleep, my relaxing evening shower, some me-time (perhaps watching “my shows”), or a leisurely stroll around the grocery store. When I didn’t get these things, my flesh rebelled. This rebellion wasn’t visible to friends and family but it filled my thoughts. My mind wallowed in self-pity even though I knew in my spirit it was wrong.

In these moments, I could feel God working on me. As Galatians 5:17 says, my spirit warred against my flesh. I sensed that God was using motherhood to make me aware of a selfish mindset I had clung to without realizing it—that I have a right to be upset when I don’t get what I “deserve” right now (sleep, me-time, freedom…).

Romans 6:6 tells us that our old selves were crucified with Jesus, and as a result, we are no longer slaves to sin.

We don’t have to accept a selfish nature!

The Bible says we become a new creation when we accept Jesus into our lives. While we don’t change all at once, becoming more like Jesus becomes possible (praise God!) and, we are able to walk in the fruit of the Spirit. Motherhood provides plenty of opportunities to act out our new nature!

We get to choose love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control.

However, it is a choice.

I have to choose patience when my baby fights sleep. I have to choose joy even when I’m sick and have to get up to nurse every two hours. I have to choose kindness toward my husband after I’ve had a long night with a little one and feel like I’ve given all I can before the day has even begun.

But these choices add up. We can experience the transformation the Bible promises as we choose to respond to daily frustrations with the fruit of the Spirit. I’ve become more self-aware of a fleshly response because it leads to selfish thoughts and self-pity. I try to take these moments as opportunities to swap self-pity for a more “fruitful” response.

This is just my first season of motherhood, and I know each season comes with unique challenges. But I believe we should always remember that motherhood is one of God’s greatest gifts to women as a way to become more like Jesus. What a blessing!

Dear Father, we pray for strength and discipline as we walk through each day of motherhood. Help us to tame our flesh and react to obligations and frustrations with the fruit of the Spirit. And when we fall short, help us to remember that our transformation is a grace-filled process led by our loving Father. In Jesus’ precious name we pray, Amen!

Many Blessings,

Kelley