For When You Feel Far From God

My eyes fluttered open slowly at the first streams of sunrise streaming through the blinds. I opened the bible sitting on my nightstand to begin the most peaceful hour of constant communion with God through prayer and reading of His word I’ve ever had. The hour I normally would have spent with Jesus each morning quickly turned into two and then a whole day of constant communication and intimacy with God.

And then I woke up. 

Let’s get real for a minute.

I’m in the Season of Littles right now, and my life revolves largely around survival — my survival, the kids, my husband, even the pets …. With the chaos of elementary school-aged kids and toddlers, jobs, and a flurry of daily responsibilities, each of us are simply trying to get to bedtime in one piece and still semi-liking one another. (I’m only sort-of exaggerating.) 

Day to day life is messy for me, and I am willing to bet you have some crazy and some mess all your own. 

This dream of a peaceful, very in-depth and is just that — a dream for me.

Sure, there are great and meaningful times I spend with God in prayer and studying His Word. But more often than not my time with God looks very little like my dream.

And if I’m not careful, those meaningful and great times can even become a distant memory. Where I can’t even remember the last intimate time I had with Jesus.

Because of spiritual paralysis. 

Have you been through a time when you’ve felt disconnected from Him?

Paralysis is, in its most basic definition, the inability to act or function. So spiritual paralysis is the same but directed at the soul. Spiritual paralysis is when our soul, the part of us directly connected to God, is unable to function. It often feels like Jesus is off teaching everybody else, but not us. Where everyone else has stories of what He’s done recently, or what He’s told them. They can see, feel & hear Him.

But it feels like He’s not with us.

Yes, of course, His name, “Emmanuel” literally means “God with us.”

However, sometimes we can’t see or hear him because of the static tuning out our minds and our hearts.

So I think — sometimes — we need to go find Him.

The bible tells the story of a paralyzed man’s friends taking him to Jesus in Luke chapter five.

These guys carrying their friend remind me of me in the end of verse 18 and 1st half of verse 19:

they were seeking to bring him in and lay him before Jesus, 19 but finding no way to bring him in, because of the crowd …

Sometimes I can’t find a way to Jesus. I try and try, but can’t.

Because of the crowd.

• I set my alarm earlier, my kids get up earlier.

• I change my quiet time from morning to right before bed, and I am so tired I fall asleep.

• I set a time during the day I know it will quiet without kids, but then an unexpected visitor shows up.

Sometimes the crowd - the kids, our schedules, our own bodies, and other obligations - get in my way to see Him. 

The Message version of Luke 18-20 is interesting:

they went up on the roof, removed some tiles, and let him down in the middle of everyone, right in front of Jesus.

In the middle of the mess, they placed their mess in front of Jesus.

And how’d they do it? They went up on the roof and removed tiles? Who does that?

They were creative and bold in their strategy to be with Jesus, to heal the paralyzed. 

And guess what? It worked. 

Impressed by their bold belief, he said, “Friend, I forgive your sins.” (verse 20)

Sometimes we have to get creative to be with our Creator. 

And that’s what I want to encourage all of us to do today. 

Do something bold. Do something creative. Let’s do something that isn’t “normal” to be with our God.

Maybe that means we hire a babysitter and go for a long walk around the neighborhood with our audiobook bible come through a set of headphones.

Maybe that means spending fifteen minutes locked in the office bathroom stall, reading God’s Word.

Whatever it is, we need to do it.

Because God will see our faith and heal our paralysis. 

Every. Time. 

Much love to you today, mama … Here’s to keeping the neighbors’ roof intact and getting creative today.

Kristin  |   Visit Kristin’s website for a free guide on living spiritually healthy.