When Your Dreams Grow Faster Than Your Kids
We all have dreams. We all have goals, desires, and longings. And we all know what it’s like to push them off until the kids are older, we’re empty nesters, or even dismiss them altogether. Honestly, I think this is the hardest thing about being a mom. The constant conflict between what I’d really like to do and how that may negatively affect my family leaves me feeling a little… “what if?”
What if I could devote more time to my talents? What if I had accomplished more before having kids? What if I never get to sign up for that online program?
And then I feel guilty because, of course, I wouldn’t trade my kids for anything. But saying no to our desires - often very good, godly desires - is hard. It hurts. There isn’t enough time to do all we want and our kids come first. It’s a tough reality sometimes, especially in our achievement-oriented, self-centered culture.
But here are a few things I’ve realized recently, especially as I look back on the 13 years I’ve been a mom.
Funnel:
The restraints on our time and energy are for our benefit. They serve as a funnel. The more we submit to those restraints, the more we funnel our time and energy to what really matters. When I look back on things I said no to 13 years ago, so many of them I couldn’t care less about now. Many simply don’t appeal to me anymore. I can honestly say I’m glad I didn’t waste my time on them. Of course, it was hard at the time. But now, I see that the more I said no, the more I was able to funnel my time toward what I feel is God’s purpose for me now. And it’s only God’s purpose that’s truly fulfilling - more so than anything I said no to along the way.
Focus:
With our time and energy funneled to what really matters in the long run, our focus can be intense. This means we can have a more effective impact than we would if we were scattered amongst 20 things we’d love to do. All those rabbit trails we would pursue if we had the time could make us miss out on what we’re really meant to focus on.
Faith:
There are some things from all those years ago I still have a desire to do. Things that are still hard to push off just “one more year.” We can trust that if those desires are truly from God, he will create a path. We will accomplish those things in God’s time and in God’s way. For now, he has us right where he wants us, doing the work he’s calling us to do.
In 1st Corinthians, Paul tells us all to “Retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to [you] and to which God has called [you]” (7:17) In other words, bloom where you are planted! God is using you right now, in your messy, crazy mom life. He is accomplishing big things in those little moments of each day. The moments no one sees or notices. God notices. And he notices when you say “no” to what you want for the benefit of those you love.
Our dreams may grow faster than our kids, but God’s plans are always better than our dreams. As we trudge through motherhood, let us endeavor to genuinely embrace Paul’s declaration in Acts 20:24:
I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me - the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.
And may God’s grace sustain and comfort you the next time you have to answer with a difficult “no”.
xoxo,
Lauren
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