Why We Need Friends Now More than Ever

Friends are so important just as it’s important to be a friend. We can show practical care to our friends in so many ways. Here are some to get you started.

Even as we laughed over our kids’ latest antics, I dreaded what came next. Though I didn’t want to break the sweetness of our one-on-one conversation, an ugly truth was burning a hole in my chest. I took a deep breath and plunged in.

“So, I wanted to tell you something now because I don’t want to talk about it tonight at the event when there are other people around,” I said. Immediately, my friend’s face sobered. I swallowed the lump in my throat and haltingly began talking about the circumstances dragging me down, their heavy weight draining my emotions and energy.

The words weren’t even out of my mouth before she crossed the kitchen. I sobbed as she enveloped me in a hug and whispered how sorry she was to hear about what weighed so heavily on me. Then, she stepped back and gave me the space to talk through the swirl of emotion and worry that had tangled in my gut. Over the next hour, she listened and gently reminded me of what was true. By the time she left my home, I felt lighter and more peaceful.

A few days later, a quiet ding alerted me to a new text.

Just so you know, you are one of the first things on my heart when I wake in the morning. Also, starting tomorrow, keep an eye on your mailbox. Praying for you.

The next day, a small turquoise envelope arrived with a handwritten card. It was a quiet encouragement from my friend—the first of 30. Over the next 30 days, I received a card in the mail every day from my friend. Some made my eyes well with tears; others made me smile. They included Bible verses, inspirational sayings, prayers, and gentle wishes for a good day.

The older I get, the more I savor the sweetness of friendships. And as I talk to other women, I know I’m not alone: Our parents are aging, our hormones are crazy, and the physical overwhelm of the early years of parenting—the nighttime feedings and bad dreams, the baby food on the floor and toddler tantrums, the chasing and carrying and crying and cleaning—has been replaced by an emotional load that’s often heavy to bear.

It can be easy for fear to creep in among all these new challenges. As I watch the control slip from my grasp in so many areas of my life, I wonder if it was an illusion anyway. For too long, I believed the lie that things would fall apart if I didn’t hold everything in my life together with an iron grip. And the end result was that I ended up feeling fearful and exhausted, pressed beyond my limits. I had forgotten that trusting God is a first step, not a last resort.

Yes, God provides all that we need—and he can strengthen us in our weakness. But isn’t it also true that he has given us other gifts along with his wisdom, including the community we build with others? Proverbs 27:9 (NIV) reminds us of this truth: “Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.”

Like a balm to my soul, my friend’s encouragement over those 30 days reminded me that sometimes we just need to keep going—but we don’t have to do it alone.

When I am at my weakest, it’s often the encouraging word of a friend that reminds me of God’s truths. It’s the silly meme that lifts my spirits, the inside joke that never fails to make me laugh. The tangible representations of love—a meal dropped off when we are sick, a prayer sent via text on a hard day—can remind us that we can show love to others because Jesus paved the way for us. He demonstrated the simple truth that we are always better together.

10 Ways to Encourage Your Friends

1. Let a friend know that you’re thinking of her by sending her a song or meme that reminds you of her.

2. Send a small coffee gift card in the mail or via email. If she lives locally, follow up to see if she can meet up to visit over coffee.

3. Pick a devotional to do together and check in each day. YouVersion has short devotional plans you can do with others, as does the Tyndale Bible App. Or surprise her with an encouraging new devotional in the mail if you prefer a print version.

4. Buy a small plant from your local nursery or big box store for her front porch or doorstep. Include a spring poem or quote.

5. Send a text message or card of encouragement to a friend experiencing difficulties.

6. Ask a friend to be your accountability partner for a Gratitude Challenge. Every day for two weeks, commit to sending each other a quick list of three things you’re grateful for that day. Set a reminder on your phone so you don’t forget! (Studies have shown that doing so boosts your mood for three months afterward.)

7. Encourage a friend who has a business endeavor by giving her a shout-out on social media, sending her an encouraging text, or purchasing an item she’s selling online.

8. Send her an encouraging podcast or inspirational sermon that speaks to her current season of life.

9. Start a game of “Mail Tag.” Pick a funny card from the humorous “just because” section of the card aisle, and send it off with an encouraging note and instructions to pay it forward by sending someone else a funny card.

10. Send her a prayer of encouragement or a quick list of the things you love and appreciate most about her.
    

    If you’re looking for more practical tips and encouragement in the area of friendships, be sure to look for our devotional, The One Year Daily Acts of Friendship Devotional, available anywhere books are sold.
    

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