6 Ways to Be a Good Friend When You’re Busy

Unzipping my jacket, I slung it over the back of the chair and sunk into the seat with a sigh.

“How are you?” my friend asked, leaning across the table.

“Good,” I said, pausing. “Busy.”

She nodded and chuckled. “Yep, me too.”

The funny thing is, I almost hate to admit when I’m busy. All too often, we wear busyness like a badge of honor, and it can make life feel overwhelming and unmanageable. So, whenever possible, I try to “under schedule” myself and create margin in life for the things and people that matter most.

When our schedule fills up, one of the first things we often sacrifice is our friendships—even though connecting with other women who can empathize with us and cheer us on is essential. With that in mind, here are a few ideas on ways we can be a good friend—even when life is busy.

1. Admit that life is hectic. Our friends are willing to give us grace when they know we have a spouse who travels a lot, a busy workload or a demanding toddler. Letting a friend know that we want to spend time with them but are in a season where we don’t have much spare time goes a long way to addressing hurt feelings or helping keep the dialogue open.

2. Intentionally schedule in time with friends, even if it’s well in advance. My husband and I are friends with a couple who likes to visit new restaurants as much as we do. We also both have young children and limited time away, so it’s more realistic for us to plan a dinner date every other month. As soon as we have a meal together, I text my friend the following week to set up our next date—two months ahead of time. Another idea is to schedule your next get-together immediately, while you are still together. That way, you always have something on the schedule, even if it’s weeks in advance.
   3. When you do have a spare minute, make an impromptu call or text to a friend. Some of the best conversations I have had with friends are spur-of-the-moment calls late at night when our collective kids were finally in bed. Sometimes I’ll message to ask, “Do you have time to talk now?” It’s surprising to realize we have more time than we think we do, whether it’s while waiting in the preschool pickup line or putting on makeup in the morning.
   4. Double your dinner—and plan to share it. Chances are good that someone in your home is making dinner anyway. My recipe for Baked Ziti always makes enough to feed a crowd, so it’s my go-to meal to drop off at a friend’s house along with a bagged salad and garlic bread from the store. Other tangible actions that let a friend know that you’re thinking of her include picking up a second coffee to share or dropping a quick handwritten note in the mail.
   5. Ask for accountability. My husband and I have frequent conversations about our individual and family commitments and are always tweaking our schedule. There are times when we’ve decided that there may be some things we need to let go of to make time and space for our friendships.
   6. Lastly, be generous in your prayer life. Many times when a friend comes to mind, I stop to pray for her. Immediately afterward (before I forget!), I follow up my prayer time by sending a quick text or message to let her know she’s on my mind and ask if there’s anything specific I can be praying for her.

If you’re looking for more practical tips and encouragement in the area of friendships, be sure to look for our newest book, The One Year Daily Acts of Friendship Devotional, releasing this fall.